Reefers Digest Issue 3

Fair Cop? The police just aren't that popular anymore and things can only get worse after a particularly bad day for the Force which saw one Officer and one Ex-officer jailed. The first for murdering a fellow officer after a love triangle went wrong and the second for causing the deaths of a couple in Urmston after ploughing into them at high speed. I know police are people too (technically) but this cannot be good for the image.

Camel RUN!
My husband says they do a great chicken kebab, although I'm not so keen on the veggie burger. Perhaps somebody else took a dislike to the fair on offer in Rusholme's Camel One takeaway on Saturday night.

The place is popular with cabbies but the normally slow-moving chaps but on an uncharacteristic turn of speed, diving for cover when a car hurtled towards them and smashed into the shop front.

You can watch the CCTV footage on YouTube, the silver Audi A4 convertible smashes into the entrance and bounces off head on into a parked black cab, (which incidentally is where I think the £15k damage figure they're claiming came from.), then two men crawl out of the driver's side window and chip off, roughneck style. No body was seriously hurt so feel feel to laugh.

Shock News! Dirt can be good for children, say scientists!
Yes, children of the world rejoice! A new hypothesis says messy play should be encouraged, children should be allowed to get dirty. Scientists have found being too clean can impair the skin's ability to heal, killing off the skins natural bacteria the new hygiene hypothesis" holds that exposure to germs during early childhood primes the body against allergies.
Yes,  I know after all this time it's good to be proven right. The "good" people at Johnson and Johnson et al must be glued to the share prices and kaking themselves, before firing the entire marketing team, What will they do now they can't blackmail us into sterilising every surface? And just when they were about to launch their new range: "Home Hermet", the easy way keep your home and children safe from germs forever  hermetically seal your home in one giant flower-scented sack. (Ok, well maybe not, but we all know they were thinking about it)

Surprise! We're not dead!
I know many of us thought it would be the end of the world when they switched on the Large Hadron Collider and when nothing happened some of us have to admit we were a bit disappointed. Then we were told "ah well, switching it on is the easy part, we might never actually get two of the buggers to crash!" and we sat back to wait.
Well prepare yourselves, because they did it, (LHC) Engineers operating the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) have smashed together proton beams in the machine for the very first time describing the step as a "great achievement" for those working on the experiment.
And look, we're not dead, no black hole, nothing, are we calm now?

The Stuff Of Nightmares
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the hospital.

Rom Houben, a Belgian man who doctors thought was in a coma for 23 years was conscious all along.
Rob was injured in a car crash in 1983 and though medical staff he had sunk irretrievably into a coma, Doctor Steven Laureys discovered in 2006 that, although Mr Houben was paralysed, his brain was working. He now communicates by using a special keyboard attached to his wheelchair.
Scarily the Doctor said the case was not unique. he believes that in about 40% of cases in which people are classified as being in a vegetative state, closer inspection reveals signs of consciousness.

It's not just the big injuries you need to worry about either.
An inquiry has been opened after Gordon Ewing, 44 from Glasgow died during a routine operation on his pinkie finger at the Victoria Infirmary in 2006.
A pathologist told the hearing the death was "intrinsically linked" to lung puncture which happened during his operation.
How the hell do you puncture someones lung when you're operating on their pinkie finger??

Football Fiasco
As the only Wigan Athletic supporter I know in Manchester I have suffered some severe ribbing after our humiliating 9-1 defeat at Spurs on Sunday. The captain Mario Melchiot said "we were embarrassed by the way we performed...we badly let down our supporters..." and as "...a gesture...to pay them back for their loyalty" the Wigan players are going to personally refund Latics fans who bought tickets for the match.
Well, barring Paul Scharner who scored our only goal...you should be embarrassed, you did let us down and you owe us more than our money back, you owe us our pride and dignity.
And as for the "unfortunate" Wigan keeper Chris Kirkland scored an own goal, I vote he be taken to Wigan town centre, tied in his shorts the the Giant Wheel outside the college and pelted with rotting produce until he learns his lesson which hopefully will be before we host Sunderland this weekend.
Harsh? Cruel and unusual punishment? Not really, I think he'd be getting off lightly when you consider Goalkeeper Ivan Banovic of Croatian team Medjimurje Cakovec's (pronunciations on a postcard please) he earned himself a yellow card when he picked up a cat that strayed on to the pitch 20 minutes into a match. He placed the meddling moggy safely near a scoreboard and the ref promptly booked him for leaving the pitch without permission.

View Links to the full stories and more on my Google Reader Page

Reefers Digest Issue1

Welcome to Reefers Digest, an occasional foray into the outside world and the bizarre, newsworthy things happening in it. I apologise in advance for the ranting, but not for any objectionable content, that's the whole point! Follow the links to the full stories, and visit my Google News page for more news of note.

BBC nuclear bomb script released (BBC News Oct 2008)
I've been waiting years for these! I know it sounds morbid, but ever since I was 6 and was made to watch Threads at Primary School I've had a weird fascination with nuclear war. It scares the hell out of me, I still have nightmares about that film, but the idea of what really happens to people when the threads that hold a nation, a society together are all suddenly cut just sets me thinking.
The script was "written to reassure the public the BBC was still there" by the government and the BBC in the 7o's and was to be broadcast in the event of a nuclear attack.
It includes instructions to "stay calm and stay in your own homes".
Apparently there was debate over who would read the script, personally I think Patrick Allen, the voice of the Protect and Survive series (you can actually buy these now, yes I had a copy) would be perfect. Funnily enough, they used parts of his voice over in Treads.
I think everyone should have to watch that film at some point, it really makes you appreciate what little order and peace we have. I'm not saying I'd like to go back to the Cold War, rations, draconian punishments or National Service, I don't want any more kids with guns, but a bit of a shock wouldn't be a bad thing for some of the youngsters.
Take this lot:
Brick vandals run to ground (Catherine Smyth MEN 4/10/2008)
YOUNG yobs who hurled a brick at a passing coach picked the wrong target - and ended up being run to ground.
...the bus stopped at traffic lights on the East Lancs Road, near Lowton, Wigan.
The two schoolboy yobs threw a brick from a grass bank next to the road, damaging one of the vehicle's windows.
They tried to flee but were no match for club runners Richard Stott, Greg McDermott and Rod Graham, who together with Greg's son Andrew set off in hot pursuit
At least they were caught, though I don't hold out much hope for any sort of real punishment being meted out by our woefully inadequate and antiquated justice system.
Sadly there's a lot of it about as they say, but throwing rocks is just the start, apparently it's defenceless animals next.
Boy fed zoo reptiles to crocodile (BBC News Oct 2008)
This is a 7 year old! He climbed over a security fence and went unchecked for half an hour killing a total of 13 animals.
Reports say "he was seen hurling the animals over the security fence into the crocodile enclosure. He bludgeoned some of the animals to death with stones and hurled others over the two fences surrounding the crocodile enclosure.
At one point, he tried scaling the outer enclosure himself to get to "Terry", the 11ft (3.3m) saltwater crocodile. Zoo director Rex Neindorf said many of the animals were rare or mature and would be difficult to replace."
What? Where are his parents? Where are security or the keepers? What the hell is wrong with this child? Seems he can't be prosecuted because of his age but the Zoo may well sue his parents. How about they just put the little bugger back in with "Terry" and let them settle it.
I hate to mention it but this kind of violent behaviour, the killing and torturing of animals, is a classic early sign of a budding psychopath.
Seems this youngster could have a career in art though, at least in Manchester:
Row over dead animal art (Dean Kirby MEN 4/10/2008)
"ROAD kill is on the menu at a city centre café - all in the name of art. A squashed squirrel, flat-looking pheasant, stuffed badger and dozens of dead rabbits are all part of an exhibition at the Nexus art café, in Dale Street."
In a cafe? Surely that's not hygienic. I'm a vegetarian so obviously eating near that doesn't appeal to me but I would have thought having the corpse of a mutilated animal sewn to a couch next to you while you dine would put even the most hardened carnivore off his ham sandwich.
At least if you decide to see that show you know it will be there when you show up, unlike fans of Pete Doherty and his band Babyshambles. They turned up at the Ritz...Doherty didn't and man were the Mancs pissed off. Seems Doeherty cancelled less than two hours before the doors were due to open after charging £17.50 for tickets! Some had come from as far as Scotland queuing for hours. Joanna from Salford said: "When we got here the queue was already halfway down the street. By the time they told us the show was off there were hundreds of people here." (Doherty fails to show at Ritz Daniel Nolan MEN 4/10/2008)
Oh Dear, should have stuck with Ian Brown kids, he's the only coke-addled rock-monkey for me. Still, at least the crowd didn't get nasty, no name calling, unlike the Croatian Football Fans it seems.
Remember the World Cup qualifier with England in September? Heskey was booked for a foul on Niko Kovac and was blasted with racist abuse and monkey chants by the Croatian fans. Well Fifa has fined the Croatian Football Federation £15,000 saying "Racism has no place in football. Fifa is determined to continue broadcasting this message around the globe and deploying all of the means at its disposal to eliminate this form of discrimination." Croatia were given a small fine during Euro 2008 for racist abuse from their fans during their game against Turkey, so they had form)
Heskey said "You have to let the people above deal with that and I will carry on playing my game,"
Absolutely. Heskey plays for Wigan and we're proud to have him, and believe me I know how racist some Wiganers can be too. No place for that in my world nor in my Football.
I was really looking forward to the Match yesterday, Wigan vs Middlesbrough at the JJB. Given our 2-1 win against Man City I thought we had a good chance. The form was good, but I have to say after the controversial Zaki penalty I had to wonder if the gods would be with us.
We only had one injury concern with Lee Cattermole and his dodgy but 'Boro were looking at being without Robert Huth , Andrew Taylor and Gary O'Neil.
I was really hoping we could make this a run of 5 Premier League wins and move up to 10th in the table and for the first half it looked like it could happen. Cattermole was fit and ready for action (perhaps a bit too ready with 3 fouls for the game *ahem*), Hesky was powering about the pitch and we were keeping possession. No goals, bit worrying but not an unusual occurrence, Wigan have a tendency to "save it" for a final dramatic push. Second half, more of the same, 9 shots on target overall, still no goals and I'm thinking, "well, a draw will do, that's still points", but no, NO!! An 89th minute goal, set up by Downing and just jabbed in by Aliadiere was the cruel ending to yet another game we "should have won" but didn't. Liverpool away next week and we're in 13th. Arse!